When I grow up, I want to be a DENTIST! Yep, that annoying girl with straight A’s and a plethora of extracurricular activities wanted to go to Duke University and become a dentist with her own practice. I knew it in my bones. Flash forward to my first dissection of a cow’s eyeball in Biology my freshman year in high school. I fainted. I actually fainted. Sadly, that chipper little go-getter never made it to med school and also never could open up the little froggy that she had to pin against her will to the cutting mat. I know he was already gone, but still. I feel like I saved a life and took a stand. I only passed Biology with a B. It was devastating.
I tell you this story because here I am, all grown up and still trying to figure out who I am. What God put me here on this earth to do. I paint because I love it. To my soul, I actually feel like I’m doing something when I paint and design. I feel like it’s getting to you. I’m making you smile. I know I’m headed in the right direction. Somewhere between Biology class and my messy studio, I grew up and I don’t think I’ve done so bad. I certainly haven’t become who I was sure I wanted to be, but I think there is still time to make a difference.
Some people will tell you that the choices of your past will define you. I think it’s quite the opposite. I think your past choices give you reasons to dig deeper. You take your successes and failures and you do better. You make new choices. Ones that you could have only learned if you actually dared to dream. It’s funny how life sort of destroys those big dreams and makes you reinvent yourself and rediscover who you actually need to be in this life.
My mother once told me that I should be a social worker. She thought I was good with people, listening to them. Responding. More than that, she wanted me to see that this life is not worth living if you aren’t helping others. I think I’ve spent a lot of time not knowing how I could do that, instead of just going out and doing it. I don’t know if I’ll end up in social work. I don’t know if I’ll forever be painting chubby little penguins and panda bears. I DO know that I will never be a dentist, but the possibilities are endless!
Don’t be lost. Just find a new direction.
“Froggy LIVES” ~ 9×12 watercolor & ink